Zombie Survival in Hawaii

Enslaving the less intelligent.

2008-05-15T21:56:00.000-07:00

Many topics are still left untouched, but I wanted to put something positive here. Zombies don't live forever, eventually their whole body will decompose and you won't have to worry about armies of them anymore, but you will have to worry about rebuilding society. Which would be a cool thing to do, shape the new world in your image.So many things wrong could be corrected with a reboot like that. It's what we need, I think.

Anyway, you'll never get there if you don't follow my instructions, so back to training. We're going to talk about animals. It'd be nice to have a dog or something around to keep you company and let you know when there are zeds out of range of your nose, but depending on whether or not the virus can be transfered to all species or not you may want to be careful. It would be a very, very bad thing if your best friend decided to go spoiled, and rip your arm off.
You'd want to take precautions that let you interact with your dog, but keeps enough distance so that if he gets infected he won't be able to harm you. Something like a leash.... Or other things that we use on vicious dogs who aren't zombies.

Something that would be cool to do, would be to get one of the elephants from the Zoo and train them to be your pet. Zombies wouldn't stand a chance. But if the elephant gets zombified that could put you into a sticky situation.Maybe it'd be a good idea to just avoid all life.

I guess that solves it. No pets! If they get zombified you have to deal with animal zombies. Regular animals are scary enough when they attack, but zombie animals attacking........ That's no good.

Time to Come Out and Play

2008-05-06T02:53:00.000-07:00

After the initial chaos and panic it'd be a good idea to pick out a nice little hideout. You want it to be hard for the zeds to get to, but also easy enough so that you can haul supplies to. Also, you want the population of the surrounding area to be as low as possible. There are a few buildings that come to mind, those two buildings in the valley next to the H3. You can see them if you're heading toward Aiea. I can't find a picture, when I google anything with "H3" in it all I get are Hummers, but you get the point I hope. Secluded, but not so much so that it's very hard to get to.

Now you'll probably want a vehicle to help you haul your stuff around. It's really up to what you want here. You can have A) Smaller gas efficient car with less room for supplies or B) Larger vehicle with less gas efficiency but more room for supplies. Honestly A is probably the better option, the less room for supplies will help you from collecting too much useless junk.

Now, I'm no gun expert, but for protection I'm just going to go ahead and say I think pistols are the way to go. They're light, use small rounds, and can make you look straight gangsta. Fully automatic weapons are completely out of the question, their ammo consumption, and their ability to let a person spray and pray(Hold down the trigger and hope the monsters go away) just make them too complicated, and inefficient. Rifles like hunting rifles could come in handy for HQ defense, taking out zeds before they can even read your Welcome mat is definitely a plus.

OH SNAP OUT O' AMMO
Having some sort of brain smasher object, or head chopper offer would be a good thing to have. I'd say a nice aluminum bat would do the trick if going against only a few, but a group of ten or so would require something much more quick. So this is where the head chopper offer comes in, many people think a katana would be a gift from god in this situation, but without proper training you might as well be fighting zeds with toenail clippers. A firemen's axe would be a very nice brain impaler thingy, one hit with it and a zeds head should split open like a banana.

Way to Surive Initial Outbreak

2008-04-23T22:16:00.000-07:00

GET AWAY FROM OTHER PEOPLE
That is the most intelligent thing you'll be able to do when the dead hunger for your flesh. Think of living people as chum, and the zombies as sharks. The more chum, the more sharks. You do not want that, for reasons which I feel are pretty obvious(You'll be eaten alive).

It may sound a bit heartless, in any sort of disaster you'll worry about your loved ones. The emotional attachment will make your survival very difficult. You won't be able to do the things you'll need to to survive if you're constantly worrying about other people. And like I said, it does sound heartless, but if they're dead weight drop them.

A zombie apocalypse is no place for baby sitting. You do not want to have to carry around someone who will complain about everything and break down every few hours. If you find yourself with someone like that, take it upon yourself to end their suffering.

YOU CAN CLIMB ZEDS CAN'T....... WELL
Get to the mountains. It doesn't have to be a hardcore climb, any trail on Oahu will do fine. Make sure it's easy for you, but hard enough that the zeds will constantly fall. The way to judge this is, if you can't get up it without constantly grasping something near to steady yourself, zeds won't be able to get you.

The Lanikai trail is ideal. The first climb is very steep and you wouldn't be able to get up without holding onto the surrounding trees. Also the entrance is very low and narrow, you could easily block it with a car or anything really. You can only go up single file at first, so just up root some small trees and block it off. Then the cherry on the cake is that there are pillboxes up there, you're able to get some construction supplies up there they would make very good shelters.

The trail leading up to the rocks behind Kalaheo is also very good, but you don't have the luxury of a pre-existing shelter there, so at best it's temporary until the majority of the population are zeds. At which point you could come down and take what you need from where you need, just watch out for the zombies.

IF YOU MUST SAVE YOUR LOVED ONES
I can't tell you how long the electricity will stay on, or how long you'll be able to use your cell phones, so get a message out to them as soon as possible. The message should contain the following:
A rendezvous point
Your name(just incase they forget)
A necessities only warning
A warning not to come anywhere near you if they are infected

Do not go looking for them, save yourself. If they were smart enough to survive they'll find you. Beware of other survivors, you don't know what their state of mind is like. Make sure you keep your rendezvous point secret. It'd be tragic to survive the zombies only the have some thugs come and kill you for whatever you have.

1st Problem

2008-04-17T23:18:00.000-07:00

The first problem with zombies is that they are very hard to kill. You have to destroy their brain, and anyone who isn't mentally challenged knows that the brain is in the head, and what is also on the head is the mouth.

The mouth is the most dangerous part about a zombie, and this is because if you are bitten you're dead. It's that simple. There's no stopping the infection if you're bitten. Once you're bitten the most useful thing you could probably do is strap some explosives to yourself and take some of the undead with you.

You're probably asking yourself, "What does this have to do with surviving in Hawaii?" Well, not to be offensive, but there are quite a few people in Hawaii with very nasty teeth. By few I mean around 30-45% of the population, this is due to the huge crystal meth problem we have. Being bitten by these people would suck, being bitten by these people while they're zombies reaches a level of suck that I can't even fathom.

Now that we're on the same wave length you probably want a solution, well I have one. Motorcross is quite popular in Hawaii, first thing you want to do is hit up one of these shops and get some padding. Or you could try to loot some S.W.A.T. gear from a police station, but that'd be extremely dangerous. I'd say stay away from government buildings, especially emergency response.